4 minutes agoAuthor: Shashank Shukla
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Our Relationships are based on trust and understanding. Sometimes these relationships start affecting our mental and physical health. This is the time when boundaries become necessary in relationships.
A healthy boundary not only helps us maintain peace and balance in our lives, but it also strengthens our relationships.
In today’s fast-paced and competitive world, where everyone is running on their own path. We need to understand that even in relationships we have the right to express our preferences, desires and needs.
So today we relationship I will talk about-
- What are healthy boundaries in a relationship?
- What is unhealthy boundary?
- How to create healthy boundaries in a relationship?
What is a healthy boundary?
In every relationship there are some spoken and unspoken limits which we do not cross. Like, we should not spy on the phone of a friend or partner. One should not talk loudly while sitting in a public place. One should not enter anyone’s room or house without ringing the doorbell.
Although there should be healthy boundaries in such relationships, healthy boundaries are generally ignored in our society. For example, the father’s wish is to see his son become an officer while the son’s dream is to become a chess player.
Here the father, knowingly or unknowingly, is trying to influence the son. When the son tells that he will choose the career of his own choice, then the son creates a healthy boundary in the relationship. It keeps the mental and physical health of the son better. Also, when the son will be able to explain this to his father, he will protect his own boundaries and avoid breaching others’ boundaries.
Let us understand the graphic in detail.
Healthy boundaries play an important role in many aspects of our lives. They help in maintaining balance in relationships, workplace and personal life. With healthy boundaries we feel safe. Like we can express our desire to shake hands with someone instead of hugging them. Instead of going out with a friend, you might say, “I need some rest.” We can decide which topics are not appropriate for us to discuss. By setting these boundaries we can maintain mental and physical peace in our life.
What are unhealthy boundaries?
Do you ever feel that the relationship boundaries in your life have become blurred? Your friend repeatedly asks you for money and you feel that you are being exploited. Or your partner constantly burdens you with his emotions.
This makes you feel stressed. Have you ever thought that your parents are violating your personal freedom, which makes you feel angry from within? These are all signs that your relationships may be lacking healthy boundaries.
Boundaries are not limited to personal relationships only, but are equally important in the office or at work as well. Such situations not only disturb your mental peace but also affect your personal life. In this situation people feel emotionally tired and are not happy.
Ways to create healthy boundaries
It is important for everyone to set healthy boundaries in relationships. Be it a romantic relationship, friendly or familial. First you have to understand what you want. If you are concerned about personal freedom, then you can sit with your partner and talk about it. Couples coach and therapist Aparna Mathur tells that we can create healthy boundaries in the relationship through some questions. Let us know about these questions.
Create healthy boundaries with the help of these 9 questions
- Try to know what you want in your relationship.
- Ask yourself what makes me uncomfortable?
- Think about what qualities you appreciate in others.
- Be clear about your time and how you want to spend it.
- What things are important to your happiness and satisfaction?
- Understand your limits based on your experience with someone.
- Did someone say something that made you feel insulted?
- Did anyone make you feel physically uncomfortable?
- Have you been pressured to do something that doesn’t match your values?
By thinking all this you can set your limits. Also express your feelings, so that the other person understands it properly. If someone crosses the line, reiterate your needs firmly. With this you will be able to have a healthy relationship through healthy boundaries.